Contrary to popular belief, I am not always positive!
Living with a chronic health condition can be hard and some days are a real f****g struggle.
I feel rubbish, I flop around, my get up and go has got up and gone.
Worse still, I then berate myself for my inability to get things done, my self-talk stinks and my normal upbeat attitude gets eaten up is a sea of self-pity and woe.
I find myself focussing on all the reasons why I am COMPLETELY justified to feel like I do – my three open-heart surgeries, the stroke, the hospitalisations, the daily symptoms.
And then I go down the rabbit hole and indulge myself a little more.
- How I am alone in my struggles
- How life isn’t fair and I drew a short straw
- How my health prevents me from living the life I want to
- How nobody else truly understands how I feel
- How other people have it so much easier than me
And you know what, ALL of those things may be true…..
….just not all of time – or even much of it if I am honest!
The only thing feeling sorry for myself is going to do is make things seem even worse.
So, I have an attitude adjustment and come to realise that no, I don’t need to be unendingly positive.
What I do need to be, is DETERMINED.
- Determined not to indulge myself more than necessary
- Determined not to wallow around in negativity
- Determined to give myself a break……but not for too long
- Determined to keep moving forwards, even if that is in teeny tiny metaphorical steps
- Determined to sort out my head and be grateful for what I still have
- Determined to lead the best possible life I can, despite my restrictions
- Determined to help and inspire other people living with long term health conditions to do the same!
My struggles have bought me to EXACTLY where I am supposed to be and prepared me perfectly for what comes next.
We can’t always control what happens to us, but we have full responsibility for our attitude!
Determination always beats positivity when living with a chronic health condition.